This Thanksgiving, I’m grateful that multiple generations can gather once again around the table at a shared meal that celebrates the abundance in our lives. I've also been thinking about how this holiday offers a great opportunity for intergenerational storytelling.
An article I recently came across from the Wall Street Journal, “The Power of Myth: The Benefits of Sharing Family Stories of Hard Times”, notes that the type of stories you tell, and how you tell them, can have a big impact on your children’s self-esteem and academic skills.
This Thanksgiving, I’m extra grateful for this crew and will be sure to prompt conversation around the table about the shared memories and stories that make us a family.
The power of storytelling is something I reflect on often. At LogicPrep, we see college admissions as a form of storytelling. Our Advisors and Essay Coaches are all storytellers—and I firmly believe that helping our students articulate their narratives is a key part of their ongoing self-understanding and development.
Researchers at Emory University’s Center for Myth and Ritual in American Life conducted a three-year study of the dinner table conversations of 40 families. They discovered that "Families who tell family stories have kids who are doing better." And contrary to popular belief, the study found that “happily-ever-after” stories are not the best. Stories about relatives overcoming suffering and hardship can reduce children’s sense of entitlement and help them see their own lives as “more of a gift", giving them the resiliency they need to thrive.
Families who tell family stories have kids who are doing better.
In novels like Great Expectations and Oliver Twist, Charles Dickens captivated readers with tales of suffering and hardship endured by orphans Pip and Oliver, who, by their own virtue and a stroke of good fortune, were able to overcome their painful childhoods and achieve success. Reading these stories makes you feel that you too, can overcome adversity and achieve your dreams.
Family stories work in the same way.
When telling them, resist the urge to gloss over the hard parts and instead explore the sadness, anger or grief your relative experienced. Focus on the lessons learned, like maintaining dignity in the face of discrimination, or kind strangers who reached out to help, that enabled them to rise from their lowest lows and go on to lead successful lives.
This dovetails with the idea of having a ‘growth mindset’—which I reflected on last month—how cultivating a more positive outlook about setbacks and change leads to growth. Resilient students, if not accepted into their first-choice colleges, can say to themselves, “I’m really disappointed, but I know I'll be happy wherever I go.”
This Thanksgiving, you might ask your parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles to write down some of their stories so you can share them with the next generation. Who knows? It might just inspire a college essay down the road.
Wishing everyone a warm and wonderful Thanksgiving holiday.